Our Love Story: Part 14

"Here's the thing about this love story of ours. It's long. And drawn out. And mushy-gushy. And even a bit cheesy. But it's true. And I've decided to take my time writing it, capturing all the special details of those moments I never want to forget. So if mushy-gushy, cheesy love stories aren't your thing, I totally get that. Just know that I'm writing this as a gift - to my family, and my children, and their future children - and also, for [Parker] and me - so that on those days when the kids are screaming, the laundry is overflowing and the bills are rolling in...on those days when it all just seems so hard, we'll have this to remind us of those first moments when we fell in love. And if sappy, detail ridden love stories are your thing, well then you've come to the right place." -Ashley Stock

To read the beginning of Our Love Story, click here.

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So Parker left to serve his mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for two years. He started out at the Provo Missionary Training Center and I ended up going to visit family in Provo while he was there. I remember feeling super weird about being in the same place but not being able to see each other. We drove by the MTC a couple of times and I had high hopes that I would catch a glimpse of him on his way to the Temple or something but I never did. At the beginning of Parker's mission, he was only allowed to email family so we did snail mail up until we were allowed to email. Then it was a mix of emails every week (I only missed a couple of times but those times made me feel sick to my stomach at having forgotten) and then snail mail and packages. 

Ok sidenote: so I started writing this and then got lost in the depths of our emails and letters and they have me crying. First out of love for Parker. He was and still is so good to me and makes me so happy that that happiness wells up and comes out my eyes. Second out of embarrassment for the things I used to say/my letters and emails in their entirety. I was so annoying and I am just so grateful that Parker was able to see past all that and love me anyway.

Back to the story, so we wrote and wrote and wrote each other. Queue this song - any time I would hear it, I would feel the need to write Parker a letter. So many of my letters start with "That song came on again so I felt the need to write a letter..." It was a long two years but at the same time, it went really fast. I went on dates with other people but didn't click with anyone else and I think a lot of that was because I really, really wanted to see what would happen with Parker when he came home and because we were obviously meant to be together :). I remember my first date back at BYU after Parker left was a date to the circus. The guy was really nice and it was a good date but when I came home, I put on Parker's sweatpants and hoody that he left with me and cried myself to sleep that night because I missed him so much. 

A photo of our actual letters as decor at our wedding :).

At about 5 months left on his mission, I started to get really nervous about him coming home. Everyone knew that we had dated before his mission and I was very open to the world about how I was still writing him so I knew that everyone was watching us, waiting to see what would happen when he came home. And the pressure of everyone else's expectations really got to me. My family LOVED Parker so much (they still love him, just keeping the past tense going for sake of the story) and I knew that they wanted things to work out between us. His family, too! 

So when it came time for his homecoming, I freaked out and started to make really dumb decisions. Before he left, I had promised him that I would be there for his homecoming but I couldn't bring myself to actually go and made up excuses not to meet him in Ohio. I also told him not to come to Canada but that we should wait until we were both back at BYU to see each other. I was so scared. 

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Part 15