Thursday, October 11, 2012

the cycle

I am a stress case. I am taking 17 credits. One of my classes is Human Anatomy. It was really stupid of me to take anatomy with so many other classes because it takes up all of my life. I have been stressed to the point where I have begun to get an ulcer again, among other things. Don't worry, I went to the doctor and I've got pills to make me better but the stress just keeps coming back. Just when I think I'm back on top of things 3 other tests and papers pop up and it all begins again. It's making me super emotional. I cry all the time -- in the past two weeks I think I've cried 6 times, which is a lot for me. Recently, my dance teacher told me that I need to relax. I am holding tension in my shoulders and I have a tendency to rush things because I'm always 'go go goooooo' kinda deal. Not good. My music for dancers teach told me that I need to relax when I'm playing on the drum because I have a tendency to rush and that makes me tense up and then the accents aren't working. So right when I think that my dance classes aren't giving me grief, I realize that the stress from my other classes is factoring into my classes that I should have no problem with. And this is making me even more stressed because I don't know how to relax. There is something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. Its making me more stressed. More stomach acid. More ulcer. More pain. More stress. THIS CYCLE NEEDS TO STOP! I'm at the halfway point of the semester and how I've survived this long I'll never know.. Here's to surviving the second half! I can do this! 
This is me.

4 comments :

  1. I feel you! I had a 22 credit semester last year, and anatomy is definitely brutal! Yikes. Good luck, girl!

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  2. Oh Chan, I'm so sorry. I wish I could trade spots with you for a couple days. Let you take a break. Take 10 deep breaths before you start your dance classes. IDK. I really have no advice, but hang in there!

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  3. This is hard for a Momma to read! You are right though, you CAN DO THIS! You are always in our prayers :)

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  4. i beeeeliiiieve in you :) take up thai chi. or however you spell that dang word.

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